18 months ago I had my hair cut off from this:

My long hair(This is from my sister’s hen party a couple of years ago, but my hair was the same when I had it cut)

To this:


And since I had it cut, I have had it shorter and then longer on the top but shaved at the back, and I’ve had some really good haircuts, but I’ve had more that have been terrible. I don’t earn a lot of money so I can’t afford to have it cut somewhere expensive and therefore, presumably, good. I had it cut today by the same girl who cut it last time – last time it was amazing, and I really liked the shape of it:

Not Christening HairThis me holding my adorable nephew at his non-Christening (we had a party but there was no religion) a couple of weeks ago.

And then today I ask for it a tiny bit shorter at the back and on the sides because I had to have it cut about 3 weeks after the last time and I end up with a short back and sides and I hate it.

I find it so annoying that we put our looks into the hands of people who act like they’ve listened to what you’ve asked for, but then do something completely different – and maybe it’s a British thing, or maybe by the time you don’t like what they’re doing, it’s too late – but I thank them, pay my money and say ‘it looks great’. Maybe I need to change my attitude, but does anyone else have the same problem? I love having short hair, but pretty much every time I have it trimmed, it’s awful for 2 weeks, then I like it for a week or so, then it gets too long and needs cutting again. I think I’m just going to grow it out, it’ll be much easier to explain ‘I want a bob’ than to explain what kind of crop I want.

Michelle Williams has long been my hair idol:

Michelle Williams 1
And she is currently growing out her hair – it’s now more of a bob – so maybe I should continue having her as my idol (if only I looked more like her!):

Michelle Williams 2
I know I should be philosophical about the whole bad hair cut thing, but I find it does matter, it’s not enough to say ‘oh, it’ll grow out’ because I feel unattractive and it’s not like I think I’m the most beautiful person in the world, but I don’t like looking like a less attractive version of myself than I know I can be (if that makes sense). Maybe that just makes me vain – I wouldn’t deny that I’m vain (e.g. I don’t like wearing my glasses if I know I’m meeting new people). I don’t want to go back to having my hair as long as in the first photo – those curls are the result of lots and lots of product and hours of curling it with tongs and it still dropped out – and I don’t think it suits me, but I don’t know what the solution is if I’m unhappy with my short hair when it’s cut but I don’t want it long again.

Sorry to rant, but I feel like my hair is a big part of my body image and how I feel I am putting myself out in the world. People always say that ‘normal people’ have body image issues because of models and actresses being so thin, and I think I feel almost permanently inadequate about my hair because it doesn’t look like some actress’s – an actress who probably has a hairdresser on staff, and certainly has hairdressers styling them for the red carpet. I used to want hair like Zooey Deschanel’s, but then I realised she has hairdressers and probably some hair pieces in there to make it look so thick. I can’t achieve what they can achieve, so I guess I need to stop trying. And find a better hairdresser who listens to what I want!

4 Replies to “Hair”

  1. I don’t blame you for being pissed off but I wonder if taking a picture in is the best way to communicate to your hairdresser what you want. I don’t think wanting a decent hair cut is vain at all. People are very sniffy about the importance of appearance, but we know that human beings make judgements about others they meet within seconds based on how they look, so its crucial when you have a job that requires to you to be under public scutiny. And its imperative to self confidence. I really sympathise with you. Feeling like your hair looks a mess makes you feel foul. And since I have a complete phobia about hairdressers, I know exactly where you are coming from. But don’t commit to growing it out just yet, because it looks so very good on you short. Try the photo route and see if it helps. xxxEF


    1. The Boyfriend said the same thing, so I’m going to let it grow a bit, to a point where I like it and then take pictures of it from all angles and bombard hairdressers with them. It’s just so annoying that last time she did it I loved it and this time, it’s completely different and not what I asked for at all – how can they not just do a trim, so it looks the same as before, just a little bit shorter? Maybe it’s time to invest a bit more money in a better place….


  2. I hate having my hair cut. I know I make it difficult for myself by getting Mum to do it (so I can’t moan about it for weeks afterwards if it’s bad in case it upsets her). She never does what I ask first time and when I push it – mostly making her shave the back of my peculiarly hairy neck – she thinks the style looks crap and she’s disappointed with her work. Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and I think that a lot of the time, the stylists pride in their work vs. what the customer actually wanted can really clash. And you end up looking like Spock the day before your brother in law’s wedding.*

    *I should add that this was a Danish stylist and not my Mum. No one sane would think a fringe THAT short and blocky could look good.


    1. I feel I should add that my Mum does me a massive favour cutting my hair, and that i always do love it after about 3 days – I think there’s just a period of time in which I look in the mirror expecting to see one thing and then see another. I’m very grateful that I can have my hair cut by someone I’m confident enough to comment with as it’s going along, i.e. “Can you leave that bit the way it is, I really like it,” and “Is there any chance of making that a bit shorter. No really, get the razor because my damned natural hairline is mullet-shaped.”etc.

      If you’re reading, Mum, I love you for putting up with me.


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